Before any counselor, coach, or therapist has been embroiled in the affairs of a predatory psychopath, he or she may not be equipped with the proper skills to deal with the psychopath. This shows up most noticeably when working with couples. This is when otherwise good counseling goes bad.
It is not the fault of the counselor who doesn’t know any better, but it does highlight the proficient psychopath’s ability to manipulate and exploit other individuals at will. Unbeknownst to the counselor, he or she is being played by the psychopath, while the victim is traumatized and abused even more.
Those who have mastered their psychopathic abilities often can persuade people to believe what they want them to believe. They make their victims believe that they love them. People trust them. Religious leaders believe they are faithful and loving servants. Law enforcement officials believe they are credible witnesses.
Predatory psychopaths do not experience guilt, remorse, or fear, and do not question their ability to talk themselves out of any situation or shift the attention or blame elsewhere. They know how to appeal to your senses and make you like, love, and trust them, while all the while they are just using you as either a support person or a fall guy for their nefarious purposes.
Unfortunately, this happens to the best of us, and in the counseling environment, the counselor can be conned, just like anyone else, even more so if the counselor has had no psychopathic experience or doesn’t know what signs to look for.
The official diagnosis of a psychopath is an extremely difficult process because their public persona is so compelling and believable. They are over-the-top in their ability to sell themselves as the cream of the crop, the likable and amazing people that we would all like to be or at least be around. They are charming and influential people on the surface.
It takes a great deal of effort to obtain a sound diagnosis that includes interviewing business associates (present and former), family members, and others (victims, if you can get access to them) to build a more accurate profile.
So, if you are unfortunate to be intimately involved with a psychopath and you find yourself in your therapist’s office as a couple, things could not work out like you might have hoped.
If you are being abused sexually, physically, or emotionally by your psychopath, and you can prove it, note that these are common characteristics of abusive relationships that have no psychopathic component, and a therapist may start to approach the situation from the perspective that you are with a person who has found themselves in an unhealthy state of mind which can be treated by various methods.
In the case of a predatory psychopath, nothing could be further from the truth. Everything they do, every word they say, every nuance, every touch, and every action has the explicit purpose to violate you and force you into compliance, submission, depression, or to start contemplating the taking of your own life as your only possible means of escape.
The psychopath can easily present all types of smokescreens to confound the most qualified therapist, throwing them far off the trail of psychopathy. They are likely to present themselves as unfortunate victims of life circumstances, i.e., they were abused as a child, betrayed as an adult, run over by coworkers, or even disrespected and attacked by you. Without a filter (guilt or remorse) they can tell any story, no matter how farfetched, and make it believable as they are also pathological liars.
They will shift blame, and you might be tempted to follow in kind, blaming the therapist, but your counselor and the rest of your social circle are all psychopath’s puppets. They are as many victims as you are, being exploited by the predatory psychopath.
You might not be able to help them, but by God, you better start doing something to save yourself.