We know that psychopaths gravitate toward authoritarian professions, and their tenure with law enforcement or emergency services or any other position where you may be able to work your way up the ladder to be in a custodial position over the average citizenry could go either way.
Especially in law enforcement or emergency services, we see them as heroic because of their lack of fear. They are willing to put themselves in compromising, even dangerous positions as a part of the service they provide. But then there’s the predatory aspect. If they score high as a predator as well, they will use their position of authority to manipulate, exploit, abuse, and further victimize others while taking full advantage of their position.
This brings us to the nearly worst-case scenario, when the victim asks, “What if I was victimized by a psychopathic police officer?” A minefield of unknown possibilities all around you just waiting for you to make one wrong move.
First things first, if your psychopath victim isn’t quite ready to make a break for it,
Document Everything
Notebook
You know the drill. Get a notebook and write everything down including dates, times, locations, and a description of the goings on. Who were the players” How did you feel?
Pocket Recorder
Get a pocket recorder and record everything you can discretely. Phone conversations, discussions, arguments, and any interaction where the psychopath might show his or her true colors. If you are participating in a verbal exchange, it is vastly important for you to show up in character. Do not let your psychopath think for a moment that anything is being recorded. Do not use leading questions if you’ve never done that before. You are not trying to set a trap, only to establish a pattern of behavior. This is documentation, not a setup. You do not want to tip him or her off or have your attempt to document challenged or thrown out. Do not break character.
Photos
Photo document any markings left by the psychopath’s abuse. If you are taking the photos in a mirror with no one else around, take the picture with your cell phone, then immediately send the photo to a trusted friend. After you have confirmed the picture has been received delete the photo from your phone. Cell phone records are an excellent way to document photos, as long as the friend does not alter the photo in any way. Make sure the friend knows how to save the photo to a separate folder on his or her phone to avoid being run across in a cursory check while scrolling through pictures.
Printing pictures and or inserting them into your documentation along with your description of how the marks were made will fare well if you need to plead your case and defend yourself.
In most states, recordings are not admissible in court. Also, recordings that are made without consent are suspect. But you can submit an affidavit with very specific dialogue and quotes. The recordings can be referred to when the psychopath begins to challenge your claims, and he or she tries to “prove” that you are crazy, insane, and a schizophrenic paranoid pathological liar.
Bank Account
Get a separate bank account in your name only in a bank that is not affiliated with your joint bank account. If you live in any other state besides Arizona, California, Idaho, Louisiana, Nevada, New Mexico, Texas, Washington, and Wisconsin, which are community property states, see that any substantial purchases are in your name only, if possible.
Safe Deposit Box
Get a safe deposit box to place original copies of any important documents that you may need access to when you decide to make your escape. Think about what you might need, birth certificates, social security cards, passports, automobile registration, insurance documents, some emergency cash, used notebooks with documentation, photo documentation, and recordings.
See a Doctor
See a doctor for a general checkup. You might find that being with a predatory psychopath will have signs showing up in your checkup. If nothing appears irregular in your checkup, that’s okay. Certainly, if you have any injuries from abuse, medical staff will be able to document it as such and place your copy in your safe deposit box.
Note that five states, California, Colorado, Kentucky New Hampshire, and Rhode Island are mandatory reporting states. Take extra caution in these states because you do not want to tip off your psychopath by having him or her investigated before you are ready to do what you have to do.
Safe Exit Strategy
As always, have a detailed safe exit strategy. If and when you leave, where will you go? Make sure that the psychopath would not think to look for you at this location. Have any number of transportation arrangements, if not prearranged, firmly set out in your mind. Who is your trusted contact person, and how will you contact him or her? Think about what other things may need to be in order if you were to leave. Your employer? The kid’s schools?
Independent Support Network
Begin to build a support network that is unrelated and has no ties to law enforcement. Law Enforcement Psychopaths (LEPs) are often quite controlling, only allowing spouses to maintain friendships within the blue line, inside the law enforcement community. If you leave, you will need a support system exclusively set apart from law enforcement employees. Start building those relationships now.
When you’re ready to leave
When you execute your safe exit strategy, you will be in a high-risk position, so having your affairs in order is of vital importance.
It is a good idea not to try to execute your safe exit strategy with some type of assistance, like an advocate that is unrelated to any law enforcement agency. There may be an independent advisor who has experience with dealing with domestic violence and law enforcement at your State’s DV department who can refer you to someone who fits your criteria in your area and can assist you.
When you leave it will set the psychopath into a rage that may include threats of violence and retaliation. The psychopath may acquiesce to your leaving if he or she can be assured that you will agree not to rock the boat.
It’s up to you if this feels like can be safely negotiated through a third-party mediation. The safest thing you can do following your leaving would be to maintain a strict no-contact initiative.
At the first sign of aggression toward you, you can confidently and courageously move forward because you have all the documentation you could possibly need to put this Law Enforcement Psycho behind bars and eliminate any possibility of regaining employment with law enforcement ever again.