Surviving a predatory psychopath episode is like burying your son or daughter. The recovery process from psychopathic abuse is not unlike recovering from the unexpected death of a loved one that is very near to you. You would not expect someone to go through the grief process in any particular way or period of time. A caring and empathetic person understands that this type of grief is going to take time, and the way it is experienced and the path the recovery takes is unique to each person who suffers such a loss.
A compassionate person would say, “Take as much time as you need. Express your pain in any way you see fit, just try to get it out, and get a little better every day, if you can.” And one might say, “I can’t even imagine how it must feel for you, I would be devastated if I were in your shoes.”
That is because you have an understanding of such a loss. If you haven’t, you have probably known someone who has been through such a loss, or you care for someone so deeply that you fear losing him or her and can easily imagine how horrible it would be for you to experience such a loss. So, you can relate in some way, and you honor that person’s grief.
If you have not experienced the suffering at the hands of a predatory psychopath first-hand, you have no idea what that might look or feel like, and no one would fault you for that. You only know what you know, and that is fine.
If you have no frame of reference, and you hear only the issue headlines.
I lost the love of my life.
I lost my house, my possessions, my car, everything.
All my retirement is gone.
He or she screwed around behind my back.
He or she betrayed me.
I was told unbelievable lies and tricked into believing them.
I was forced to do things I would never have done.
He or she destroyed by reputation.
He or she trashed me and made everyone hate me.
He or she tried to poison me and kill me.
Or any of the other complaints that you might hear from someone who has suffered exploitation and/or abuse as the result of engaging with a psychopath.
You have probably heard one or more of these complaints from people in your life before. People who had it all and lost it. Those who have loved and lost. People who were betrayed. People who had to start life over from scratch. All of which are somewhat normal parts of making it through life for some of us. From this point of view, it might be normal to respond with something like,
Okay, fine. That happens to lots of people who just get over it. Pick up what resolve they have and get back to living. So, stop feeling sorry for yourself and get back to life.
If you were to make such a statement to a psychopath victim, it would be the same thing as making that statement to a loving parent who just had a funeral for their son or daughter. That would be wildly inappropriate. You know that because you would not want anyone to treat you that disrespectfully.
The psychopath victim, would experience more pain and suffering from their psychopathic experience. This inhibits their recovery, extending their suffering, compromising their immune system, and causing them to sink to unbelievable depths of self-deprecation, depression, and unworthiness.
In many cases, the pain and suffering that follows surviving a predatory psychopath episode is far more severe than you can imagine.