You have been through one of the most horrific events that can be visited upon a human being. Recovery from such an episode in life can take many stages. The first stage is,
SURVIVAL
This is the phase that encompasses your separation from the predatory psychopath and establishing a holistic safe and secure environment for you to manage survival first, then when it is safe, expanding into a process of rebuilding yourself again.
In the survival mode, it is necessary to build strong defense strategies to protect your holistic self. You must protect your environment to protect your body first, followed by creating a safe space for your mind and a sacred space for your soul or spirit.
Due to the pervasiveness of the psychopathic threat to your life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness, there is a good chance that your safety net will include cutting back on your social interactions with family, friends, coworkers, and pretty much anyone who is not part of your support network.
You are likely to establish social boundaries with others that will feel counter-intuitive to your authentic personality but may be necessary to protect you and your environment. Don’t be surprised if during this period people say things behind your back, such as, “You used to be such a nice person, now you are kind of a jerk.”
Don’t look at that as an insult. Even though it runs in contrast to how you appeared to be before your psychopathic exploitation and abuse, it is actually a huge compliment. It is a statement that verifies that you are doing what you have to do to protect yourself and survive as you create sacred space for you to begin your rebuilding process.
Sacrificing your trust and faith in your fellow man is more than likely a necessity as you prepare yourself for your recovery process. No one would blame you for that if they knew what you had been through.
EVALUATION
Before you can even begin to heal, you must evaluate and inventory the damages you have suffered as they relate to your psychopathic exposure. Once you’ve completed an exhaustive damage assessment, you will have a laundry list of items to work on. Don’t be surprised if you uncover more along the path to recovery. It is common for psychopath victims to block out certain psychopathic episodes.
As you move along to more healing, you will be better equipped to deal with deeply buried experiences and painful inner wounds. It is normal for these issues to present themselves when the time is right. No need to hurry the process. Deal with what you can when you can.
LEARNING
If you haven’t already, learn about or learn more about psychopathy and your personality prior to the psychopathic entanglement and since. Learning more about the psychopath. What makes him or her tick, will help you figure out what you were going through. At first, you’re more likely to think that the psychopath sought you out as if it had something to do with you as a person. More than likely it did not.
Psychopaths only make victims of someone who is a supply source of something that they need or need to do to fulfill a need or accomplish something that they are compelled to do. Psychopaths are no respecters of persons. You, just like anyone else that they interact with, have no face or identity. You were only a source of supply. That is all anyone is to a psychopath.
The more you learn about them, the more power you can take back from them.
As you learn more about yourself, the you that you were before your psychopathic exploitation and abuse, the more you will understand why the psychopath sought you out in the first place. Note that they only target the best people with the most valued characteristics in our society.
The psychopath would like nothing more than to take responsibility for annihilating these attributes from your personality but don’t give him or her the satisfaction. Certainly not now, but as part of your healing process seek to reinstate these personality traits, and after a time, consider taking them to even higher levels.
As you continue to heal, you will be able to see how, even though the psychopath meant this experience to have a highly negative impact on you potentially leading to your total downfall or demise, you can use this to your benefit, rising to a new plateau of health, wellness, success, contribution, and love, thereby making the world a better place. Don’t worry if you cannot imagine this now because you have more work ahead of you.
Examine for Clues
Throughout the learning process, be looking for clues, like
- In what ways did you attract the psychopath?
- How did you make yourself vulnerable to the psycho?
- How could you have been more observant? (Hindsight is always 20/20)
- How could you protect yourself from similar circumstances in the future
Armed with this information, you can go about developing your story about your experience with the psychopath to begin crafting the beginning of your story.