In continuation of post-psychopath precautions, we will drill down a little deeper into these 4 precautions to have in place for your preparedness following any relationship with a predatory psychopath.
Do Not Seek a Replacement
Parting ways with a psychopath will leave a void. No doubt. Do not seek out someone else to fill the void until enough time has passed that you are certain that the psychopath has lost interest in you and turned his or her attention elsewhere. Even so, maybe wait even longer.
Psychopaths are the best stalkers. They may be tracking every move you make, and you would be none the wiser. You might be surprised to find one day that your coworker, family member, or even best friend was keeping tabs on you and reporting everything to the psychopath. Fortunately, not all psychopaths are highly skilled at stalking, or enlisting the aid of others to do the stalking for them, and they may be reckless especially if they are emotionally charged.
Attempting to fill the gap too quickly may ring the focus of the psychopath back to you, or even worse, the person that you are attempting to replace him or her with.
The key is to not attempt to replace the goodness that you felt from the psychopath from another person. Try to find and embrace these qualities and feelings yourself. You be the source, don’t depend on someone else for those feelings. I know, easier said than done, but worth talking to a professional about.
Take It Easy on Social Media
Social media is a preferred method of most people on the anti-social personality spectrum for use to track individuals and people they might be obsessing about. Psychopaths use the same tools as everyone else, but they are probably better at it because they are so clever, deceptive, very adept at disguise, especially when hiding behind a false digital profile, and also good at enlisting the aid of other people to do their dirty work.
There’s a good chance that you might desire to keep an eye on the psychopath’s social media as well. You are far better off breaking all ties you have with the psychopath. Disconnect any social media ties. Do not remain connected on any shared digital media accounts. Don’t engage in any stalking or private reverse voyeuristic campaigns.
I know, you’re hurt. You’d like to see him or her fall. You’d like to play a part in his or her failure. You’d like to find out about those things that are not obvious. You’d like some payback, or at least to be a better informant. Don’t do it. It will just cause you drama and pain.
Disconnect and lockdown all those social media accounts, and block the psycho. If you can, use them privately to keep in touch with the people you trust, keeping in mind that those people that you think you can trust might be reporting to the psychopath everything they see, read, or hear about you.
Accepting new friends on social media is probably not a good thing for an extended period. If you are going to attempt to make new friends, do so in the real world, even then, exert caution.
Do Your Paperwork
It’s up to you to cut any legal ties that you might have had with the psychopath. No joint-anything, Take his or her name off any accounts that he or she might have weaseled his or her way onto. Check everything. Phone accounts, internet sites, gym memberships, bank accounts, shopping discount cards, Amazon, Netflix, or any of the other accounts that we commonly share these days.
Remove yourself from any of the psychopath’s accounts and take him or her off yours. Some of these types of separation might be difficult for private or commercial rentals, leases, shared property, investments, etc. But don’t let the inconvenience get in the way of you protecting yourself.
If you have the financial wherewithal to hire professional assistance, do it. If you don’t, which is common because psychopaths do tend to make sure that departing victims have little or no financial resources if at all possible, find help. Get Help.
You might be surprised to find that local community resources may be available, but you must look for them and ask for them. If you need a specialized attorney, don’t be afraid to seek the best ones out. Even if you can’t afford it, you might find one compassionate to your cause that might offer pro bono services to someone in your situation. If not, they might be able to refer you to other community services that may be available.
I know you’re hurting, depressed, and don’t feel like you can do anything at this moment, but don’t let that keep you from doing the right thing and cleaning up this mess sooner than later. Later may be too late, and you needn’t suffer any further avoidable consequences. Do it alone if you can. If you can’t, get help. It’s out there.
Protect Yourself
Protecting yourself is all about getting yourself to a safe place, establishing boundaries, cleaning up your environment, and continuing to protect yourself as best you can. Now is the time to find that inner strength that you always knew was there, but have lost sight of it since you were entangled with the psychopath.
Take precautionary measures. Remember, never be afraid to dial 9-1-1.
Yes, you have a small notebook to document details but also consider carrying a pocket recorder that you can set to record without being noticed. You could use a phone app, but if the psychopath is right in front of you, setting it to record could be noticed.
If you can set up video surveillance at your home and place of work. Stealthily hidden cams are easy to get your hands on by searching Amazon.com or eBay.com. Some of them will update your phone when they sense movement. They even have dash cams that will monitor and record the front and back of your vehicle, while you are driving and while you are in the store.
Think about how you can best defend yourself. It might be time to start carrying pepper spray or a Taser. Some private self-defense weaponry is easy to carry and conceal. And speaking of concealed carry; I feel I should go there.
If you think you might be in any real danger, you might think about getting a gun. I understand it is not politically correct in our current society. Psychopaths hate that I tell people about this. The bad guys have them, and they will have them for a long time after the good guys are prevented from having them, so it’s not as bad as you might think that one of us, especially one of us who might be at risk of being assaulted by a predatory psychopath, has one.
At the moment, it is legal for you to have one, unless you are a felon. Before you think about getting one, if you are not already proficient in the use of one, like ex-military or law enforcement, do yourself a favor, and take a tactical gun course. If you have a gun club near you, they may have one, or know of one they can refer you to.
This will give you the confidence to use a weapon professionally and will help you maintain possession of it if a struggle for it ensues. Far too many people get a gun to defend themselves but are not confident in the use and retention of it, so it ends up being taken and discarded in the best-case scenarios or used against the victim who intended to use it for protection.
Concealed carry varies from state to state, so check with your state to see if a license for concealed carry is necessary and do so if it is. Your firearms instructor will help you with these details.
Also note that most people who possess guns, never are in a situation to use them against another human being, but they are possessed as insurance only. Let you be one of those. Be educated, familiar, confident, and aware, and never have to use it.
Get to know any weapon or equalizer that you might use in self-defense. Get two. If you’re going to use pepper spray, use one to practice with. Go to the playground when no one’s around and defend yourself from the swinging tether ball, whatever it takes. Once the canister is empty, ask a friend to try to take it from you. Get used to how it feels in your hand, how to deploy it and keep anyone from taking it from you.
Take a class, if you can, or do it on your own.
It’s up to you now. You must take responsibility for your own protection.