Unfortunately, unbeknownst to the psycho-ignorant (not saying they are psychos who are ignorant but that they are ignorant when it comes to real-life psychopathy), their disregard for honoring the validity of your claims only perpetuates more pain and suffering associated with your psychopathic-induced suffering. This makes your psychopath very happy.
Do not give him or her (your psychopath) the reward of being disrespected by the psycho-ignorant, instead, avoid them as soon as you are able to determine that they will not be receptive to your story. You may continue to converse with them or maintain a healthy relationship, just avoid discussing the topic of your psychopath’s exploitation or abuse.
Save it for someone who can truly “hear” you and relate.
I am not saying that anyone is ignorant, just that you cannot blame people for ignorance when it comes to being a psychopath victim. You must understand that as a victim of a predatory psychopath, you are a minority. Most people have no idea that predatory psychopaths are a thing, and it is likely that they don’t know anyone who has been severely victimized by one.
No one has any idea the depths to which a fellow human being can sink and what they could do to another human being with no feelings, guilt, compassion, or remorse, especially if their public persona is so charming, loving, caring, and compassionate.
Face it; until this happened to you, you were psycho-ignorant as well. You had no idea that people like this existed. Of course, you had heard stories of all the serial killer psychopaths, but never could you have imagined that they were a greater number of psychopaths secretly infiltrating life all around us, seeking potential victims to exploit and abuse.
Less than 1 out of a hundred people will have an experience with a predatory psychopath as you have, so there’s a pretty good chance no one you know will be able to relate to your situation. It would be considered normal for someone who has no concept of what you’ve been through for them to assume that you are overreacting to the circumstances surrounding your suffering at the hands of a psychopath.
Normal people still believe that all people are basically good and share the same capacity for love, and compassion, and assume that we all have some degree of fear, guilt, remorse, respect for the law, and have at least a basic understanding of suffering consequences for one’s actions. They assume that the term psychopath only refers to the likes of Charles Manson, Ted Bundy, Jeffrey Dahmer, Gary Ridgway (the Green River Killer), and, well, since you are here to tell the story, you can’t possibly have been the victim of a psychopath.
As ridiculous as it sounds, this is the mentality of people that you have to deal with if you have suffered at the hands of a psychopath, and there is little you can do about it, so don’t be expecting any sympathy from anyone who cannot relate to the suffering you have endured. You might be able to join a group of fellow psychopath victims who will have a sense of what you have been through and will be understanding, compassionate, and supportive through your recovery process.
You may also be surprised to discover that this ignorance is also found in the therapeutic community. I know because I was one of them. It breaks my heart when I look back and recall all the people who came to me with genuine complaints about being traumatized by psychopathic individuals, and I did not fully embrace their plight due to my own ignorance.
I am ashamed about that chapter of my practice and wished I had known better, but you only know what you know, and the same goes for all the people and practitioners who help a lot of people and do good in the world, but they are not equipped to help you.
Do not judge or blame someone for psycho-ignorant disrespect or not knowing everything. Everyone has their own area of expertise. Find someone who can relate to your situation, someone who has either been trained to deal with psychopath victims or may have first-hand experience at the hands of a psychopath.
Yes, the disbelief or dismissal of a victim’s story of abuse by others can be a form of secondary abuse or trauma. When a victim shares their story of abuse, it takes a tremendous amount of courage and vulnerability to do so, and being met with disbelief or denial can compound the harm and make the victim feel invalidated, dismissed, and powerless.
It’s important to remember that psychopaths are often very charming and skilled at manipulating others, including those closest to them, which can make it difficult for people to believe that they could be capable of abusive behavior. However, it’s crucial for friends and family members to listen to and support victims when they come forward with their experiences, even if it’s difficult to believe.
If you are a victim of abuse and are not being believed, it’s important to seek out other sources of support, such as a therapist or support group, who can validate your experiences and help you cope with the trauma. It’s also important to remember that the disbelief of others does not negate the reality of your experience and that you have the right to safety and healing.