You have married into a family and it’s not long and you’re asking yourself, “If my mother-in-law is a psychopath?” While some in-laws are psychopaths, it is far more likely you are dealing with a toxic in-law who may also be on the Anti-social Personality Disorder (ASPD) spectrum.
We hear about psychopath mothers-in-law the most, followed by other in-laws as well. The Top 5 potentially psychopathic in-laws we hear about in order of frequency are,
- Mother-in-laws
- Father-in-laws
- Brother-in-laws
- Sister-in-laws
- Other in-laws
Sometimes you get so distracted by the official diagnosis of psychopathy that it prevents you from taking action to protect yourself from being further victimized by a toxic in-law that may well be a psychopath. In doing so, you are missing the point; no one has the right to disrespect, take advantage of, or abuse you, even if they are family members, and only you can stop the abuse.
Regardless of any outstanding diagnosis, if your mother-in-law is having a toxic impact on your life and your relationship with your spouse, it’s up to you to do something to stop the abuse, even if it means excommunicating your potentially psychopathic mother-in-law from your relationship altogether.
A mother-in-law psychopath will display the same characteristics of any other psychopath, such as my shortlist of 6 attributes including being charismatic, smart, no feelings, impulsive, winners, and never wrong.
Charismatic Mother-in-laws
Your mother-in-law is charismatic, which means that there is a good chance that she is liked by many. She makes friends easily and they are convinced or conned into believing that she is charming, sweet, and caring. She is seen by others to be an upstanding member of the community who would sacrifice or do whatever might be necessary to protect her precious family, which includes your spouse.
She has so successfully built this character into the fabric of the community, that you would be well-advised not to try to challenge her in front of her faithful followers. She portrays herself and her life as an “act” and her audience supports and approves of her performance. Her whole life is a sham, and no one is the wiser.
Smart Mother-in-laws
If your mother-in-law is a psychopath, she is no intellectual slouch. She knows how to play “the people,” is keen at manipulation tactics, and she believes she is smarter than you, well, smarter than anybody, which makes her better than anybody. Since she is so narcissistically self-centered, she will see you as a lesser being, certainly unworthy of her offspring.
Whatever you have to say will be disregarded as worthless drivel because you are not (and never will be) up to her intellectual standards. Trying to reason with her is a waste of time, unless she is in the process of manipulating you, or setting you up for a street ploy, which will make you end up looking like a fool in from of your spouse or someone else.
Your Mother-in-law Has No Feelings
While most mother-in-laws possess emotions like caring, empathy, compassion, and love for others, the psycho-mom-in-law has none of these things but knows how to act as though she is endowed with these loving features when her subjects are watching. But it’s clear to you that she is fake and that’s because she’s targeted you.
You may be the only person who can see her for who she really is, and it doesn’t bother her. No one would believe you if you blew the whistle on her.
Her phony displays of emotions are only manipulation tactics and she wields them masterfully. She may act like she adores you with her whole heart in one circumstance and promptly stab you in the back when given the opportunity. She will do or say whatever is necessary to cause you trouble without any hint of guilt or remorse.
Impulsive Mother-in-laws
Your psychopath mom-in-law loves interrupting your life without notice, barging in when you are unprepared and will knick-pick at every opportunity as you were caught off guard by her impulsivity. You don’t matter, you are disrespected, not allowed to have personal space and she expects nothing less than obedient servitude. She will likely be the organizer of any family events. You should respond graciously when she barges in and be in 100% agreeance in all of her attitudes and socio-political views, or you will fall victim to her wrath, and promotion of you as an unfit match for her son or daughter.
Mother-in-law Winners
If your mother-in-law is a psychopath, she will always come out on top. These perpetual self-proclaimed winners will turn any circumstance around to make themselves look like they are in control of everything and everyone else (especially you) are an utter mess. You have married her by proxy by making vows to her offspring. Never forget that she is the boss and you are her servant selflessly tending to her offspring in the same manner that she would in her absence, if you don’t she will do everything that she can to make your life miserable and discredit you to anyone she has influence over including your wife or husband, and she won’t let up until you’re totally trashed or divorced, whichever comes first.
Your Mother-in-law is Never Wrong
And your mother-in-law is never wrong. Don’t even think of trying to disagree with her. Every word that passes through her lips should be regarded as pure gold or you will suffer the consequences. And if you have witnessed any shortcomings be prepared for an enthusiastic reframing of the entire incident that makes her look like nothing less than the superhero royalty that she believes herself to be. Never expect an admission of wrongdoing, inconsistency, or apology, not going to happen, not ever. But is you ever force her into a situation where she must admit wrongdoing, be prepared for a life-long battle ahead.
Be forewarned:
Hell hath no fury like a psychopathic mother-in-law whose view of themselves has been challenged by anyone courting or married to her son or daughter.
Get on the wrong side of the psycho pother-in-law and you will suffer the full barrage of attacks including bad-mouthing smear campaigns and rallying all her followers in the community to join in her smearing efforts. She will relentlessly commit her life and resources (including your spouse) to your total destruction. You will pay for your disobedience.
If you have brought this relationship to this stage, you must always remain vigilant and never let your guard down. Any misstep on your part will be exploited and used against you to bring you down in burning flames.
If you suspect that your mother-in-law is a psychopath and are concerned about the impact it may have on your marriage and family dynamics, it’s important to take steps to protect yourself and your relationship without jumping to conclusions or making unfounded accusations.
The first step is to educate yourself about psychopathy and its symptoms, so you can better understand your mother-in-law’s behavior and how it may be affecting your marriage. It’s also important to communicate openly and honestly with your spouse about your concerns, without making accusations or placing blame.
If you feel that your mother-in-law is actively trying to come between you and your spouse, it’s important to set boundaries and communicate your needs and feelings clearly. You may need to limit your contact with her, or avoid situations that could trigger conflict or manipulation.
It’s also important to seek support from a therapist or counselor who can help you navigate these complex family dynamics and provide guidance on how to protect your relationship and emotional well-being.
Ultimately, if you are concerned about your safety or the safety of your family, it may be necessary to involve law enforcement or seek a restraining order. However, it’s important to carefully consider your options and seek guidance from a mental health professional or legal expert before taking any drastic action.