Next to losing a child unexpectedly, having to admit, “My child is a psychopath,” is the worst thing a parent might have to do. Being a parent can be hard, but to be the parent of a child who is a psychopath is a challenging scenario even for the best of parents.
Raising a child psychopath is troubling indeed. If he or she has siblings, they have undoubtedly suffered the consequences of existing in close quarters with a psychopathic brother or sister in their youth. A loving parent can offer all the love and support possible, and still not be able to have a positive effect on the young psychopath’s life.
As other people in the community start to notice your son’s or daughter’s psychopathic tendencies, it is not unusual for the parents to be accused of not properly caring and nurturing the child. While psychopathy can develop in a child from a traumatic childhood, they are more likely just born with the inclination to express themselves psychopathically.
Only in the rarest of circumstances do parents intentionally raise their children to be psychopaths.
Parents are left to do the best they can for eighteen years, then release their son or daughter into an unsuspecting society and establishment which is not well-suited for accommodating such a person.
In many cases, siblings and parents have suffered at the hands of a young psychopath in the making, and when the child becomes an adult who is released to the world, the list of victims continues to grow.
Psychopathy is a spectrum and manipulation, exploitation, and abuse served up by a psychopath can take many forms and are expressed in myriad ways. Everything from that awkward tendency of making you feel like it is always your turn to pay the bill for lunch, to packaging and keeping victims in the refrigerator and integrating them into his or her diet, and everything in between.
Since female psychopaths are rare (about one-third of psychopaths are women), if you parented a psychopath, it was most likely (3 times more likely) that it was your son who gave you so much trouble, and his troubling you could well follow you for the rest of your life, if you do not take action to protect yourself. The same goes for the brothers, sisters, and extended family members of the psychopath.
I get it, you love your son (or daughter) and you would do anything you could to help him (or her) and you probably have, and if he has grown up and is now on his own, we understand how badly you feel about not having done a better job. But be assured, we understand you did the best you could. In fact, you did a great job given the impossible odds you had to deal with.
Unfortunately, every psychopath has parents, and it was your turn in this life to parent one. It was a tough assignment, but only you could have made it this far. And if you have other children, it was their turn as well, but now that your little psycho is out on his (or her) own, it is time to let go, and you all can start enjoying the good things this life has to offer.
Signs My Child is a Psychopath
Let’s take a look at Joshua. Joshua we know did grow up to be a full-blown psychopath. What did he look like in his younger life as a child?
His parents report that he was a troubled child. When he did not get his way, he was extremely demonstrative. He would kick and scream, and break things, anyone’s things, even his own favorite toys were not safe when he was upset. And he never regretted breaking other people’s stuff or his own. The parents remember him never regretting or saying he was sorry for anything, even if facing punishment. He was immune to the punishment of any kind. When he was on a mean streak, he could be the meanest kid on the block, with no regard for others or their pets (animal cruelty is common in young psychopaths).
He was described as not being normal, with two distinct personalities, a bad kid sometimes, but also a good kid, who everyone liked as well. Everyone always commented on how smart and respectful the good kid was, and people often thought he would grow up to be someone of importance.
On the playground, he was reckless, which often led to someone getting hurt, and if someone did get hurt, he would laugh at them and make fun of them, even if their playground injury warranted a trip to the hospital. He would always say they were lucky, and it could have been worse. (It is uncertain whether he would have laughed had one of his playmates actually died.)
He found himself frequently in the Principal’s office not for stealing from other kids, but talking them out of their stuff, like school supplies and lunch money. He could pretty much talk anyone out of anything, and more often than not, he was able to talk his way out of consequences for his actions. He could tell a tale as long as necessary with incredible detail, but it was all deceit wrapped up with a tidy ribbon that would make you feel sorry for him.
He loved flame. He would watch the flame and pass his hand through it, which worried us, and on two separate occasions, the parents were visited by the Fire Department responding to fires that he had started. (Admittedly, there were several fires at home that the Fore Department was also not aware of.)
Then there was the embarrassment of bedwetting which continued periodically until Josh was a tweenager. This was disturbing, and his mother thought that his bedwetting was directed to his disapproval of her, but this to date is uncertain.
But my child isn’t grown, he’s still at home, a child. What can I do?
Good question. You should be seeking assistance from a professional who specializes in child antisocial disorders, specifically psychopathy, if possible. There are treatment regimens that are available. Though no cure for psychopathy has been found, there are treatment modalities that may help give you an edge on the situation and improve your child’s chances of remaining on the low end of the spectrum. For instance, risperidone which is an antipsychotic may help to reduce aggression in your child.
In this state of mind, being able to better communicate, reach out, and connect with your child in a loving manner may have enough impact to create an authentic heart connection. As a parent of a potential psychopath, keep doing everything you can, and do not judge yourself harshly when you feel as though you have fallen short of the mark. This is a difficult challenge, one that you can survive, and who knows, you may have enough impact to help your son (or daughter) live a better life.
If you are concerned that your child may be exhibiting signs of psychopathy, it’s important to seek out professional help from a mental health specialist who has experience working with children with behavior disorders. It’s important to find a therapist who is knowledgeable about psychopathy in children and can conduct a thorough evaluation to determine if your child meets the diagnostic criteria for this disorder.
Some classic signs of psychopathy in children may include:
- A persistent pattern of lying or deceit
- A lack of empathy or remorse
- A disregard for the feelings or well-being of others
- Manipulative or controlling behavior
- Aggressive or violent behavior
- Early-onset of behavior problems (before age 12)
- A history of animal cruelty or arson
It’s important to remember that these behaviors alone do not necessarily indicate psychopathy and a proper diagnosis can only be made by a trained mental health professional.
If you have already taken your child to a therapist and are concerned that they may not be taking your concerns seriously, it’s important to advocate for your child and seek out a second opinion from another qualified professional. You can also provide the therapist with specific examples of your child’s behavior and ask for their input on how to address these issues.
It’s also important to work with your child’s school or other caregivers to ensure that they are receiving the support and intervention they need to manage their behavior and develop healthy relationships with others. This may include working with a behavior specialist or developing a behavior management plan.
It’s important to remember that psychopathy in children is rare, and there are many other possible explanations for problematic behavior. With the right support and intervention, many children can learn to manage their behavior and develop healthy relationships with others.