Whoa, you thought your entanglement with a psychopath was a horrible roller coaster ride. Wait until you try to disentangle, it gets even worse. You’re liable to ask yourself, “Is it me?” No, it’s the psychopath. At first, you think, “I’m free,” but you soon find out that freedom can be more elusive than you bargained for. But it’s okay. You can do this.
Your experience with the psychopath has been incredibly challenging, you’ve suffered manipulation to a degree that most people cannot even imagine, you’ve suffered incredibly at the hands of a psychopath, and very few people could even imagine what you have been through, even if you told them in explicit detail.
They are more likely to disbelieve your stories, accuse you of over-the-top exaggeration, or even question your sanity. And you thought these were the people that loved you, cared about you. You trusted them, and worse yet, there’s a good chance they’re secretly on Team Psycho!
All the things you just intimated to those people are going straight back to the psychopath and he or she is going to spin all your stories into twisted versions that are going to make you look like an out-of-control crazy person who has victimized the psychopath.
And what was the psychopath doing while you were going through your schizophrenic meltdown? Well, he or she was doing his best to protect your family and friends from your declining mental state. He or she was taking all your abuse to shield your family and friends from having to deal with the fall-out, while he or she, sacrificed everything for you and others who may have suffered at your hands.
Oh, fall down on your knees and worship the selfless martyrdom of the saintly psychopath. (Insert vomiting sound.)
Of course, not all psychopathic entanglements turn out like this. Sometimes a victim slips away, and the psychopath simply turns his or her attention to the next potential victim waiting in the wings.
Many associations with the psychopath are of little or no consequence. You might be the loving spouse, friend next door, a co-worker, a fellow parishioner who cried with the psychopath at moving church services or readings of scripture. You may have prayed with him or her with tears in both your eyes for the lost souls wandering around the streets of the Seattle-Tacoma area.
You might have been a friend or loving wife of this ne’er do well humble Christian Elder of the church he attended in Kent, Washington, and confessed psychopathic killer of 71 women over 20 years, Gary Ridgway. Better known as the Green River Killer.
Even in this, the most extreme of circumstances, hundreds of people played out their roles in his life, some intimately, without a scratch or any idea who this man really was. Some people did have ruffled feathers and thought he was a bit strange, but none of these people had a clue what this man was doing in his spare time.
Many have entertained psychopaths unaware.
Such is the case of most predatory psychopaths, especially if they are highly skilled in their deceptive abilities. This is not to say that they are all killers, as very few of them are. Ridgway is definitely an extreme, and worst example. Also, be aware that all psychopaths are not bad. There are many more who find ways to function well in our society.
A psychopath can be the best lawyer, surgeon, journalist, artist, politician, or law enforcement personnel in town. Additionally, many psychopaths have killed so many more than any or all serial killers in history, but instead of being awarded multiple life sentences or the death penalty, they are celebrated as highly decorated heroes.
The point is that they are everywhere, they function in society all around us. If you haven’t been victimized by one, then you are probably friends or a psychopath is someone you associate with at work, the only thing is, you don’t even know. Anyone is rarely selected to suffer the full-on victimization of a psychopath, maybe four out of a thousand people. That’s why the victims’ stories appear to be unbelievable, even if you know the victim, and especially if you know the psychopath as well.
Very few people ever get to see the predatory psychopath for who he or she really is.
So, are you still thinking, “Is it me?” No, it’s not you. It’s the psychopath.
Maybe you were not killed, but you suffered at the hands of a psychopath similar to those who have been murdered by other psychopaths. Only they did not suffer as much as you did nor was their suffering as prolonged as yours.
Not to disrespect those whose lives were lost at the hands of a psychopath, but I’ve heard too often from victims that they’d rather have been murdered because it would be an end to the suffering, and I get that. But know this; there is life after psychopathic victimization, and it can be an enormously satisfying one. Healing is a journey. It will require work, and it is worth it. Don’t give up.
Also know, your struggle with your psychopath may be far from over.
That’s why you need the Psychopath Victims’ Toolkit.