Don’t beat yourself up for being victimized by a psychopath. It’s easy to fall into the trap of feeling bad about letting yourself fall victim to someone with the ability to leave you in a weakened position or even totally devastated.
Above all things, remember: This was not your fault. Psychopaths target the best people, the type of people who are the hidden treasures within our societies. We may not celebrate them as much as they deserve to be recognized but we would never do anything to hurt them. These are the best people, and because you are such a good person, the psychopath chose to focus on you because he or she despises the best people. You are a good person.
Self-deprecation
Once you realize that you’ve been had by the predatory psychopath it is not unusual to engage in a healthy dose of self-deprecation. You are likely to blame yourself…
- How could I have been so stupid?
- I can’t believe I fell for that!
- I should have listened to my intuition
- Why didn’t I see it, when my eyes were wide open?
- How could I have believed such a ridiculous story?
- Why me?
Take Time
Not to worry; it is okay to do this for a moment (the amount of time necessary to effect healing varies from person to person) but you must realize as soon as possible that the problem was not you or any weakness that you make have had that made you susceptible to the predatory carnivore.
You are a kind and loving individual – and you need to exercise your ability to be kind and loving to yourself – as you work through the healing process.
The fact that you were targeted by a psychopath is a testament to your genuine goodness.
What if I Fell in Love with a Psychopath?
A romantic relationship with a psychopath will drain the life force from you. You will wither and die emotionally. You are also likely to lose out in more materialistic ways, also.
And when they are done with you, they will seek out a new partner, rather nonchalantly, as you have run out of the resources that they desire. And when you are of no other use for them, they will usually want to make sure that you will not be suitable for anyone else, either.
Looking back on the relationship, you now realize that they actually brought nothing to the table; nothing more than flattery-flavored deceit, as they wriggled their way deeper into your psyches in order to parasitically suck the very life from you.
And when you feel that twinge of jealousy when you see them with their new flame – stop – and realize that they are not in love with the person that they are with; it is an emotional impossibility. You are only viewing them in the presence of their next victim.
When they are done with you, this is when they initiate their smear campaign claiming that you were to blame for the failure of the relationship, that you invested nothing, yet sucked everything out of the psychopath’s life, while he/she continues to spread rumors and lies in such a way that the friends, who once cared for you, are wondering if you’ve secretly been underhanded or evil all the while with them being none the wiser.
The battlefield of a psychopath’s romantic relationship is strewn with the wreckage of chaos, confusion, pain, sorrow, loneliness, emptiness, and self-ridicule.
Victims of psychopaths may punish themselves in various ways, such as blaming themselves for being naive, vulnerable, or weak, feeling guilty for not recognizing the red flags earlier, or believing that they somehow deserved the abuse. They may also engage in self-destructive behaviors, such as substance abuse, eating disorders, or isolating themselves from friends and family.
It’s important to recognize that the victim is not to blame for the psychopath’s abusive behavior. Psychopaths are experts at manipulation and deception, and they often target individuals who are empathetic, trusting, or have low self-esteem. Victims should understand that they were not responsible for the psychopath’s actions and that they have the right to heal and move forward.
Self-compassion is a helpful tool for victims of psychopaths. Self-compassion involves treating oneself with kindness, understanding, and non-judgmental acceptance, rather than harsh criticism or self-blame. Victims can also seek professional help from therapists or support groups, and practice self-care activities such as exercise, mindfulness, and spending time with supportive people. It’s important for victims to take their time to heal and not rush the process, as recovery from psychopathic abuse can take time and effort.