The psychopath is all about himself/herself. They require being the center of attention whenever possible, especially seeking to garner all they can from their potential love victim.
Prior to meeting the psychopath, you may have maintained a healthy relationship with yourself if you were single. If you were married, you may have been in a reasonably effective relationship (psychopaths love to break up potentially successful relationships; it’s one of those things that thrills them).
As your affection for this individual grows, you will find yourself making compromises that will cost you dearly. Compromises that you may not have made if not in the throes of a passionate whirlwind romance where you have been literally swept off your feet (or at least lost your equilibrium of sound mental capacity).
You may have previously spent a certain amount of time (and finances) on your personal appearance, but now it’s all about them. You may have set aside regular time(s) to meet with friends and maintain relationships with others… the psychopath will nudge you away from these activities until there is nothing left in your life but the psychopath at the center of your world.
They may even demand that you sacrifice personal belongings and resources for their benefit. You might find that your employment may be a conflict with your relationship and may need to go by the wayside (unless he or she is obtaining financial rewards from your job, then you might be able to keep it). In fact, they are setting you up for the fall that they have intended for you. When they are done with you, it would please them no more if you were totally destitute, with nothing, and barely alive.
No, “the end,” is not something that rears its ugly head after a long, drawn-out exhausting attempt to garner peace and happiness… No, the end was being orchestrated in the twisted mind of the psychopath from the moment he or she first laid eyes on you.
They want you to feel comfortable, but always wondering if something disastrous may happen at any time. You may feel love (because making you feel that way gives them a sense of superiority because they are able to manipulate you so easily) but there will not be any period of time (of any significance) where you will have felt at peace.
When things are going along better than ever; when you’re feeling loved and in love more than ever before, the psychopath will plant seeds of doubt or even create scenarios that make you wonder what’s going on… Then, if you question the validity of the love that you share, it is likely that the psychopath will attack you, and accuse you of having unresolved issues or even a lack of sanity.
Every time they initiate these routines, it is in an effort to erode your sense of independence and self-worth as they ramp up their belittling you or create opportunities for you to question whether you can trust yourself any longer.
Following a romantic encounter with a psychopath, the victim will be completely drained of emotional energy (if not physiological energy also). You worked so hard to make this work giving it everything you had because you believed so much in this true love romance to which you attached all your hopes and dreams, all for the sadistic amusement of the psychopath who is perfectly content to leave you alone to wither and die.
But it’s not enough to just walk away, oftentimes the psychopath will continue to torture, betray, defame, and ridicule you by exploiting your interpersonal relationships.
Survivors of a psychopathic love relationship (if you can call it that) are wounded, traditionally feel as though they are worthless, that no one will ever love them, can no longer trust another person, or let them into those more intimate recesses of their private life.
Healing can and will happen, and the same qualities that attracted the psychopath to you will also attract the kind of person who will love you – without you having to do all the hard work required by the psychopath – and initiate support, care, and enthusiasm without prompting; and after a while, you will begin to not expect the next surprise disastrous episode that sends you reeling.
Trust that the time will come when you will be able to let go, give and receive reciprocated love in a normal way without psychopathic influence.
Although some psychopaths have the ability to run a long-con romance, many of them begin to demonstrate inconsistencies not far into the relationship, especially while they are setting up their next victim or juggling other intimate partners on the-sly.
It is not uncommon for the psychopath to have an (at least one) alternate intimate partner while engaged in a primary romantic relationship. So, you may find yourself as the main partner, or as an alternative partner. In any case, your relationship is temporary.
They have a (sometimes disguised) sexual ego that must be fed, and multiple partners fit the bill nicely. They must feel as though they are desired or wanted by others and could never be happy with the unbridled affections of one committed partner.
Sometimes they will pit two lovers against each other causing them both to battle for his or her affection, and there may never be a winner. In fact, if you find that you were the one to feel as though you were chosen over the competition, you will soon find out, that you would have lost much less had you not won this competition.
For example, a psychopath might walk into a casual get-together and immediately start telling stories about their achievements or experiences in a way that dominates the conversation. They may interrupt others when they try to speak and steer the conversation back to themselves. They might also try to one-up others’ stories or accomplishments, making themselves appear even more impressive or interesting. Additionally, they may use charm and charisma to win over the group and become the most popular person in the room.
Psychopaths may crave attention and seek to be the center of attention as a way to satisfy their need for power and control over others. They may see themselves as superior to others and believe that they deserve to be the focus of attention.
If you are aware, you may be able to take note of these inconsistencies as psychopathic red flags, indicating that you had best be on your guard, and possibly be looking for an exit strategy yourself. One thing that most victims have in common, is disregarding the warning signs that are flashing red lights in retrospect as hindsight is generally 20/20.